


The Heart of The Healer

by Kalkasar (Mordhena)



Series: No Turning Back [5]
Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Retrospective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:34:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26641519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mordhena/pseuds/Kalkasar
Summary: A first person narrative, a report of a kind, by the healer, Shondré, who worked so closely with Tucker and Reed on Zilanth.
Relationships: Malcolm Reed/Charles "Trip" Tucker III
Series: No Turning Back [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1916815
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	The Heart of The Healer

**Author's Note:**

> This story came to me after the rest of the series was written, but it probably fits into the timeline a short time before Malcolm asked Shondré to help him put his past on Clinarin II behind him.
> 
> * * *

  
There is time for all things, and the time for writing this history is now.  
This is the history of the humans who came to our world.  
I know not how much longer they will stay; since Tucker has  
regained his sight, and better use of his crippled limb, his every waking  
thought is consumed with returning to his people. It is as it should be  
and yet, there is a part of this old healer's heart that wishes it were not  
so.  
  
In recalling his history on this world, the first thing that impresses  
itself upon me is the strength with which he made his presence felt in my  
mind. I do not think I will ever forget it however many spans are left to me  
before I go to the great ones.  
  
His pain hit me like a solid wall...his soul screamed to me when the rescue  
party were still a long distance off. I am an old healer I am not as strong  
as I once was, nor as agile, but when that rending cry reached my mind, I ran  
to him. I knew nothing of this stranger but I knew I must go or he would not  
come to us alive.  
  
He feared us...he was in terror for his life...he feared the good souls who  
sought only to bring him to safety, and that fear threatened to stop his  
heart. He had lost much blood, and the eye was...beyond my help. But there  
was something in him that clung to life even through his fear. I broke the  
taboos and touched him...I laid a hand on his golden hair and spoke to him  
through his mind. I had to soothe his fear, I had to calm his mind... it was  
that, or lose him.  
  
His agony was like a physical bleeding wound; as I touched his mind even I  
was forced to raise shields against the whelming ocean of pain I  
encountered. There were physical hurts as I have enumerated, but there was a  
deeper cry a darker pain within him that did not show on the surface. A pain  
he fought to suppress even as I touched it. He was torn in his soul in a way  
I have never encountered before. Mortally torn.  
  
Had it not been for the fact that I have learned over time not to allow  
these mental hurts to manifest in my own physical being I would have fallen;  
I would have cried out...I had to fight to suppress the cry that bubbled to  
my throat... A word that does not exist in my own tongue. 'Malcolm...'  
  
In my mind, I saw him, the one this stranger cried out for...dark and  
slender, powerfully formed, obviously beautiful for its species; more finely  
built than the one who sagged in the supporting arms of the rescuers.  
Smaller, and yet, I could sense through the mind of the injured one that  
this creature he so longed for was superior in all ways to any other of its  
species. I nodded, soothing his mind with my own, and broke the contact.  
  
I looked at those who brought him."Where is the other?"  
  
They told me he fled and they had brought this one because of his injuries.  
I am a healer, in my work, I attempt to heal the whole of the being. I knew  
this one would never be truly be well while his companion was lost. "Go!"  
I told them. "Search... by all the great ones, do not cease until you bring  
the other here."  
  
When they left, I turned my energies to keeping the injured creature alive;  
it was not an easy task. His injuries were great. Perhaps a Zilanthi could  
sustain such hurts and not come to such a state as this one was in, but this  
species is different, more susceptible to challenges.  
  
Fever set in quickly and he hovered many days in a dark mist that I could  
not dispel. I helped the bones in his arm to knit, though the extremity never  
looked quite like the other one once the healing was complete. I stemmed the  
bleeding from the eye and repaired the injured skin, but he remained gravely  
ill and there was little I could do, apart from augmenting his flagging  
spirits with the gentle touch of my mind.  
  
Even that, I had to temper, for his mind is delicate in comparison to those  
of other species I have healed.  
  
And all the while he called and called for his "Malcolm."  
  
The heart of the healer is to _heal_ to apply the needed remedy and to see  
this take effect and repair what is not right. I failed him in this...two  
ways. I did not know enough to repair his hand; I could not bring him his  
Malcolm. The dark creature could not be found on our world.  
  
So, I brought him through the physical hurt, and I hoped, and implored the  
great ones that the hurt in his soul would mend with time. There was no more  
I could do. I stayed with him all through those dark days when his grief  
would threaten to overtake him; I stayed and I watched as slowly,  
tortuously slowly, he found strength within himself to go on.  
  
This species, which I now know is called 'human' is remarkably resilient.  
The creature adapted to his disabilities. Day by day he grew stronger in his  
body and in his resolve. He began to attempt to use the crippled limb. In  
this I pride myself... as one well used to employing only three fingers I  
tutored him on how to manage the tools and implements of life. Soon Tucker  
could feed himself, groom, and eat with little  
assistance.  
  
He is highly intelligent. Having thought myself in the presence of a lesser  
creature, to my shame, I had spoken to him only in very simple sibilants.  
When he began to reply to me in my own tongue I was at first astounded and  
then, curious. I began to form more complex phrases and before long Tucker  
was not only mimicking them but attempting to form thoughts of his _own_. I  
found that his ability to grasp our language mirrored the sharpness of mind  
which until then, I had thought was only a sympathetic response to my mental  
touch.  
  
To an extent, I think it is a response to the bond we have formed... Tucker  
himself seemed surprised that he 'picked up' our tongue so readily. To my  
amusement though, his inflection has never been perfected.  
  
Our people have taken a surprising liking to this human creature. Tucker  
seems to exude an aura of gregarious good humour and our people have always  
warmed to such.  
  
He displays also a great curiosity for things around him and where other  
off-worlders would not have noticed or commented, Tucker noted the  
differences between Common Zilanthi and healers. He approached me one  
morning in my clinic and asked about it.  
  
"You're differ'n't to the others, kinda...smoother." I have long come to  
admire his way of expression, if he were a male of my own species, he may  
have made a good mate.

But I digress.  
  
"I am a healer, Tucker," I told him.  
  
"Yeah..." He will not say 'yes,' no matter how often I have corrected his  
pronunciation. "But...healers of my species don't look differ'n't, they  
just... _learn_ differ'n't."  
  
"Ah, but on Zilanth, healers are born, they are not...tutored as your  
healers are."  
  
He seemed satisfied with that, but I often noticed from that time forward,  
how he would seem to draw comparisons between even the common Zilanthi and  
note differences of appearance. This must be a human trait, as it is not  
present in any other species I have studied.  
  
Tucker progressed well enough under my care and of course the day came when  
it was not necessary for my presence with him at all times. He began to  
speak of work, and in this he is the same as our own males who crave  
something to do in order to occupy their time. I asked him what he does, and  
he again surprised me in the technical description he was able to give of  
his role where he came from.  
  
This is certainly no lesser species than my own. I was mistaken. He  
is one most prized amongst out people. One who has skill with mechanics.  
  
In this sector, there is work for such a one as this...work enough to keep   
occupied for many spans. The Zilanthi do not venture into space, but we   
do indeed trade with those who do. He was given work to do and amazed   
us with the ease with which he learned to use our tools, and with the ideas   
he would formulate to solve the problems presented to him.  
  
If this is one human, and his dark Malcolm is superior...I could only  
conjecture at what that one was capable of. How I wished we could find him!  
  
And then, at the third cestus since Tucker’s arrival, our relays alerted us to   
the presence of strangers on our world.  
  
So many months had passed since the arrival of Tucker and in all that time, no  
one had sought him. I know this troubled him greatly. He often spoke of his people,  
wondering why they did not seek him. I knew the answer to this, but it was not   
appropriate to explain to one uninitiated in our ways.  
  
The strangers who came at the cestus sought him.  
  
I was reluctant at first, to let these men see or speak to Tucker. They were  
humans, of that there was no doubt from the descriptions, and yet  
something in me was unsure of their motives. Until Shallarha told me one of  
them spoke of Tucker as a 'lost companion,' could it be possible...was one  
of the men the one that Tucker's soul still cried for?  
  
Of course he could not be! I argued with Shallarha fiercely if he were the  
one Tucker grieved over I would have known! _I_ would have sensed the  
presence of so great a mind on my world. I am no novice after all!  
  
Shallarha was insistent that these men meant Tucker no harm, and eventually  
I allowed myself to be persuaded. However, I would not allow any of them  
near Tucker until I had seen this one who sought his ‘lost companion’ for  
myself.  
  
I decided I would not speak to him, it would be better only to observe and  
so, I went to see for myself, this stranger who came in search of Tucker.  
  
None of the three humans I saw that day, bore any resemblance to the dark,  
and powerful creature I had seen through Tucker's mind. I was about to  
dismiss them and tell Shallarha they were impostors when one of them spoke  
to the smallest one.  
  
"It's obvious t'me this man yer lookin' for is not here." He spoke with  
Tucker's voice. Although at that time, I did not fully understand his words, I  
 _knew_ his voice. My eyes fell upon the small, dark one to whom he spoke and  
I was hard pressed not to hiss my surprise and shock!  
  
There was resemblance in him to the one Tucker held in his mind...slight  
resemblance to be sure, but it was there. The same, singular silver eyes,  
the same, dark hair...but none of the physical superiority I had expected.  
None of the mental presence I had felt sure this creature would possess. I  
turned away, it was obvious this dark one had suffered much, it was evident  
in his very posture; what kind of torment though could he have faced to  
reduce him to...to this shadow of the glory Tucker recalled?  
  
Very much against every instinct I have, I permitted the humans an  
audience with Tucker. I made it clear that whilst they could see him alone,  
they were to be well guarded and I myself would remain within swift access  
should I be required, and I would know if I were required.  
  
I was surprised when only the little dark one went to speak with Tucker,  
under those circumstances it was decided the guards ought to remain near the  
other two, whilst Shallarha would escort this "Reed" to Tucker and I would  
remain unobserved by any of them.  
  
I expected Tucker to be shocked at the appearance of his 'Malcolm' I  
expected him to be grieved by the changes in him. What I did not expect was  
that Tucker would react with abject terror!  
  
I was on the point of calling for assistance when my mind was able to make  
sense of the jumble of thoughts emotions and the rapid-fire and heavily  
accented _words_ that burst from him upon sighting Reed...Tucker thought that  
he saw a spirit!  
  
In hindsight, perhaps letting this shadow of his past burst in upon Tucker  
unawares was not wise. However, at the time it seemed  
acceptable. It was better to get Tucker's reaction to the man without him  
knowing that Reed was coming, a more genuine response. I find myself  
grateful to the great ones that his recovery by that time was far enough  
progressed that he withstood the shock with only minimal intervention from  
myself. I soothed his fear and told him that this man was real, though  
sorely different to his memories of him.  
  
His fears were relieved, Tucker spoke with Reed, there could be no  
doubt in my mind that this stranger was indeed, the one Tucker had called  
for; he was the man whom Tucker loves with all his being. His very soul  
 _sang_ to me with the joy of their reunion.  
  
This was his 'Malcolm' but how could he be? One so very different to that  
which I had expected. One completely closed to my mind.  
  
Reed concerns me, there is a darkness in him, a wound. A terrible hurt that I  
cannot touch.  
  
He has proven his love and concern for Tucker time and again, and yet, there  
is almost what amounts to a flatness in him. Something impenetrable  
incurable. It pains me that there is so little I can do for him beyond  
caring for his physical health.  
  
And yet, I think perhaps there _is_ a way that I can reach him... if Tucker  
will help.  
  
~Fin~

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed this work, please leave kudos or comments to let the author know.


End file.
